By Charlotte Pence Bond
Many mothers or future mothers worry that once they have children, they will not only lose parts of themselves but will not have the time to invest in their interests. They may believe their time will be shorter than before they had kids. Or they won’t have as many minutes in the day for themselves. But motherhood doesn’t have to entirely uproot your life and eliminate the things you like to do. By shifting the things you do and when you do them, you can get the chores done and still have time to work, read, be curious, and expand your horizons. Here’s my guide to time management for moms.
Mastering Time Management for Moms
Right before I had my first child, I started co-writing a book with my dad. A few months prior, he told me he would love to work together, but he was aware of the strain it would put on me since I was going to have a baby soon. I’d have to complete the book in the first few months of motherhood. I wanted to write the book with him. I knew it would be a memory we would cherish for the rest of our lives. So, after discussing it with my husband, we agreed to take it on – and I’m so glad I did. Not only was it a wonderful experience, but it also forced me to figure out time management for moms in the early postpartum days and give myself grace when my brain functioning was slow during that time.
Learning from Other Moms
I found a quote when I was a new mom that was immensely helpful.
“When the baby is asleep, only do things you can’t do when the baby is awake. …So that was my hack: to think of time differently. Don’t think in terms of morning, afternoon and evening. Think of it as baby on, baby off.”
This advice was huge for me. As soon as my daughter was asleep, I started to write. I did this even when I could have spent the time doing something around the house. It allowed me to spend time with her while she was awake to ensure I was not ignoring her. I could also achieve the goals I didn’t want to leave behind just because I had children. There were also some days that I mentally labeled “mom days” when I would only do homemaker tasks. It was also fun and important for me to have that time, and I enjoyed it.
Staying Curious
Right now, I am writing as my daughter naps. When I was a new mom, I quickly realized that accomplishing workplace tasks helped me feel as if I was accomplishing something tangible because – as a family member put it to me – the payoff of motherhood is a slow one. This can be true for non-workplace accomplishments, too. There are plenty of days when I don’t work outside the home, but I still want to increase my knowledge and scratch the ambitious itch of learning new things. Even if you don’t have a professional workplace role, you can still apply these concepts to help you feel like you are moving forward when motherhood feels especially slow.
Acknowledging Unpredictability
There are days when my daughter’s nap is shorter than expected, and I don’t have the extra time I want. When that happens, I must practice patience and remember that she is my priority. This is also an opportunity to shift my day. I remind myself that the evening hours, or when my husband gets home, can be a time when I can dive back into whatever I was going to do during her day nap if I feel like it. Most of the time, however, I take the evenings off. The morning is another time that I personally use for physical exercise and listening to news podcasts or audiobooks while my husband feeds our daughter breakfast. Raising children is unpredictable, but a little flexibility goes a long way.
Still Growing
Finding hobbies will help you grow when life starts to feel overwhelming. These can include learning about medicine, improving your cooking skills, gardening, and investing in important news topics of the day. Reading or listening to articles and books during your free (read: kid’s nap) time, in the car, or on stroller walks is a way to bring your interests back into your day. Being a stay-at-home mom or a part-time work-from-home mom doesn’t mean that you must give up the parts of yourself that you used to love. You can still develop time management skills to keep growing if you reorganize and discipline yourself.
Read more from Charlotte Pence Bond:
Motherhood Changes You, But You Are Still You
